Oh, my daughter is special!
They are different from sons, you know..
She is studying quite well, but one does not want to burden them right?
She chose this new field called architecture, I mean newly popular field, for her career.
They do designing there, of course. Buildings and things like that. Not apartment kind of buildings, but creative stuff…not boring like IT!
I pray for a future for her where it’s going to be comfortable a bit later, so I think this is perfect for her. Why?.. Because she can manage things better then. Marriage, kids, in-laws.. a woman’s life is complicated . It has always been. I don’t want her pushed to compromise too much. Compromises will have to be made, but with architecture , I think it will be easier. Unlike a stressful job in the corporate world or, God forbid, high pressure fields like medicine!
She could take time off a bit and get back. I am sure her husband will manage while she can really take off and take care of things at home. Creativity is never lost. I hope she would be in a good family where she can manage both home and work sooner than otherwise. I know she is talented and it shouldn’t go waste!!
Architecture is quite a growing field. One can do interior design too or landscape design, right from home. It involves selections and creative decisions for others, a matter of taste. She will be in a well connected family and in the future it’s going to be much easier to pick up projects. And from home! I know people who do that.
Yes, I think it’s a perfect choice.
My daughter is special. She will be where I could have been.
She is pretty good at studies. I have made sure of that. Her career is going to be in architecture.
Of course , I recommended it! I have seen this field, emerging, becoming more popular!
One should be involved in creative pursuits. Her schooling was also about that. Math, science, commerce. Life cannot be around just these things. Architecture is a noble field. Back in my days, people would not understand. I have a good life, but I could have done something more interesting as a career you know. I am going to make sure my daughter gets this advantage to choose her career!
Her interests? ..Oh, how can she understand the vast possibilities too much now? Of course she is intelligent, but one needs guidance, you know. The field will fulfill her dreams and mine. It is not about commercial success. Her family will support her, while she can pursue this creative field. Money may be a challenge in this field, but life is not about money!
She will be respected, have you seen people express their appreciation when you tell them about architecture and the things they can do! That is important in the society, you know! She is going to design famous buildings, Aesthetic and monumental. I look forward to that future… for her!
My daughter is special, has her place in this world!
Her career? She chose architecture. She has her reasons and I respect that! She shared her aspirations with me, while she spent time looking around and the internet does open up the world when one is seeking to explore.
A career for her, I understand is about pursuing something that she can be passionate about. Architecture challenges her. She tells me about the long hours, the vastness of her field and I am fascinated at her determination.
She tells me about the idea of nurture that the planet needs. The idea which is bigger than commercial exploitation, deeper than personal success. She talks about reaching out to people who have been ignored, about solutions to problems often ignored in housing, health, sanitation, in transport, in public and private spaces.
It will be a tough journey. Travel, late nights and long hours. She would be dealing with people across the society. She may work away from her home city. But I need to let her go. She has a plan and we will look out for where it takes her, how it turns out. We cannot be bothered about the future too much, you know. Times are changing. The world is shrinking and the relationships one keeps in this world will be based more on trust, than playing to conventional expectations. She will choose her relationships. As for me, I hope to have the privilege of watching her go through her journey. The pain, the pleasure, the disappointments and the wonders of life.
Life has to be lived, one day at a time. I wish her the best. That is all.
by Samarendra M.Ramachandra
Featured image: Egyptian Goddess Ma’at (personification of truth, balance, order, harmony, law, morality, and justice)
I recently came across an article by Bill Gates in which he talks about how Indian parents are so partial to their daughters. Yes, you read it right! He goes on to talk about how we (Indian Parents) bring up our girls to be so amazing at managing so many things but when it comes to our boys, they grow up weak and dependent.
It is probably a generalisation but it does ring with truth. In life, one comes across women with such varying lifestyles, who have made such varying choices – whether it is my mother who wanted to be a doctor but settled for being a homemaker for life, or my sister who spent the early years of her parenting life being a homemaker, and then relaunched herself as a pretty awesome psychiatrist, my wife who is on her way to become a PHD doctor, or my two already headstrong and independent daughters (yes, even the younger one is showing a fierce streak already!). One thread that connects them all (besides me, of course) is that they are phenomenal at what they do ( and they do a lot of things).
Yes, we have come far. Our girls can now have the careers of their choice and the bliss of having children as well – because, well, they know how to manage both and they rock at it!
But the next step in this direction is how we look at our boys. I agree that our society has come far enough to applaud the women with great careers, but do we still not look down on the man who opts to be a homemaker, A man who lives on his wife’s income?
We want our daughters to shine and yet we are incapable of watching our sons take over roles that women have traditionally played. One may opine that A truly enlightened society is one which empowers the sons with independence and management capabilities, and not cripple them into being mollycoddled brats who would rather ‘Swiggy’ it than cook a meal. Once that is in place, we could then dream of a world where such conversations don’t exist.
I only wish that my daughters grow up to a society which believes in the adage; “behind every successful person, there is a spouse or a partner.”
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i have this idea of writing the next one called “why my son should not become an architect!”
Conditioning is a double edged sword. i cannot agree with you more.thanks for writing!
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This piece was wonderfully written, and not just because of the wonderful language used, but for how much it touched me, for how much it reminds me of when I was looking at architecture as a prospective career choice.
This feels like someone has just pulled an excerpt from my life and put it on paper! This is incredible. And for me, it wasn’t just one of these scenarios, I’ve seen these all three, from three different members of my family.
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thank you so much, means a lot to us here!
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As a practicing architect myself, I would say that there are challenges in this field like any other field would have, or may be even more than what a guy would have to face. Of course it’s not a child’s play; it is a serious profession and a tough one at that.
When I was 17 it was an alternate arrangement for me like many others. By the time I was 23, despite all the reasons to quit, I was irrevocably in love with Architecture.
As a fresh graduate you will always be cross questioned on your opinion. Some people might not take you seriously since you are a young girl and sometimes you are just non-existent.
“Why aren’t you getting married beta!”
“Why don’t you work from home?”
“Your site is so far?? Why are they sending you (a girl)?? Ask them to send somebody else”
“How is civil engineering treating you!?” Are quite regular.
It’s not only a fight for the profession and staying true to your values along the journey. Architecture is a lifestyle in itself. It is not some job which you switch off from. Call it my arrogance but I consider myself to be a strong headed person to choose architecture over a secure married life with kids. I do not talk against being married or having kids. I believe I am capable enough to make space for both.
So yes, I will encourage my daughter to take up architecture. Because it is a noble profession which brings out the best in an individual .It makes one more liberal, social, presentable, professional, humble, sensitive and is fueled by curiosity , a profession that empowers you. This is what I would like my child to be.
Architecture is not a profession of leisure and luxury but an ongoing journey of introspection and extrospection.